A famous U.S. President is known to have said, “I cannot tell a lie…” There’s more to the story but that president was George Washington, the very first president of the United States of America. In light of that, I cannot tell a lie. I am working on being blatantly honest, in all regards. That’s hard! We often do not like talking about our shortcomings, our dark secrets, our professional or personal lives in a truly honest and authentic fashion. I’m a work in progress so please bear with me. Would anyone like to join me on this journey?
Times have been challenging, that’s for sure. Time, free time that is, is in short supply. As a family, It’s a challenge juggling all of our responsibilities. We’re your typical middle-class family, squeaking by with just enough to make do. Often, I feel that without the love and support of our family, that may not even be the case. Our first priority is always to our kids; making sure they’re healthy and happy. We have a responsibility for our careers in the sense that it gives us external purpose as well as funds which allow us to provide for our family. My wife and I both work to make do, as most of us have to do these days.
When we get home from the workday, it’s straight to the kids; they truly are the best part of every day. Juggling activities with them, Emily feeding the youngest, getting dinner ready takes a lot of time and patience. Then its tubby night, or games, or whatever the evening brings until it’s bedtime. If we happen to not fall asleep with them, then it’s dishes, laundry, paying bills, cleaning up around the house, and more. There is not much free time to squeeze in there.
I wouldn’t change it for anything! Please do not think this is a complaint. More time would be nice but time is something that none of us can change so we do the best we can with the time we have. This comes more down to patience. Responsibilities and time commitments can be taxing on our patience. I’ve lost my patience more times than I can fathom. Driving in Pinellas County alone is typically more patience than I have.
Losing your patience only has negative ramifications, however. Sure, I may feel a millisecond of relief after I yell at that driver who cut in front of me without a turn signal, but next, I always feel bad. I’m not sure about you, but anytime I get worked up, a headache tends to come with it. When we lose our patience and yell (excessively mind you, a short “Don’t do that!” or “leave your brother/sister alone!” does have its place) not only do we negatively impact ourselves, but we impact the environment and others around us.
This leads me to something I read the other day and began implementing it. It went something like this; “Today, rather than giving someone a piece of your mind, give them a piece of your heart.” Truthfully, I do not know who is known for saying that, I saw it while flipping through Pinterest. It can be life-changing and it’s deep. It can be applied to everything. I mentioned my short patience while driving and I am happy to say that it has already improved. I yell and honk my hornless (I’m not perfect) and when I do get upset, I tend to think “not a piece of your mind Kelvin, give them a piece of your heart” which leads me to instant forgiveness and saying sorry (even though they can’t hear me) for my lack of cool.
Us Mack Men, my dad and myself, are known for giving people hard times. Sometimes, we think it’s funny (even though others don’t find it so) and sometimes it’s just the first thing we grab onto. This impacts our communication with others. Applying this to my communication always helps tremendously. Again, I am not perfect, but I think (and hope) that my communication is improving thanks to this, specifically when it comes to my wife and kids.
I challenge you to think of instances in which you typically lose your patience, picture it, and then apply this. Give that driver a break, don’t dwell on the negative when communicating, forgive quickly, and lead with your heart. How does that change the situation? How does it change you and those around you? Does it have a domino effect, influencing positive change all around you?
I was recently having tea with a buddy the day after I saw the saying about giving a piece of your heart and not your mind. We were talking about many things and it came up so we discussed it. A few days later I received a text from him, “Instead of giving someone a piece of your mind, give them a piece of your heart… That’s powerful!” I want to know what you think of it. If you implement it, what are your experiences? Let’s talk about it and see how we’re growing.
“Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love Truly. Laugh uncontrollable, and never regret anything that made you smile.” – Audrey Hepburn
Keep Smiling.
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