I’ve wanted to do a more “positive” article and when I got to thinking about it, I was thinking of how we find what it is that we are truly passionate about in this world. I’ve written in the past about my greatest fear being that I never find out why I am here, my greater purpose, the path I am meant to walk.
Prior to committing to the topic, I saw a quote that I hadn’t seen for sometime:
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” ~ Jennifer Lee
Thank you universe for speaking up! That sealed the deal right there. On that note, that’s all part of it, isn’t it? The signs that the universe sends us that we choose to follow or ignore. How often have you witnessed a sign and decided to pay it no heed? I know that I have ignored signs in the past. When facing my fear of never knowing my purpose, I made the conscious choice to pay attention to and follow the signs that present themselves to me.
Now, there are a few ways to look at this. Let’s start with the less obvious, authenticity.
There is a power in being your authentic self. Acting as your true self, saying what you truly feel is liberating. To not put on a façade of what you think others want to see and/or hear allows you to be the way you’re most passionate about; your true self.
When crafting an article, status update, picture and post for social media, just be authentic and let the raw you flow.
This all leads me to my first point: In order to find what sets your soul on fire, you must first know the true you.
Often, we feel this subconscious need to conform which is known as the Asch Phenomenon, “In the 1950s, Psychologist Solomon Asch performed a series of experiments that proved people have an innate tendency to conform to social pressure. He found that people conform because they do not want to be viewed as “peculiar” or generally believe that others are more likely to be “correct,” according to Saul McLeod in Psychology Today.”
Where does this innate tendency to conform come from? Is it an survival instinct early humans learned? Is it born from our conditioning today? Or is it a mix of things?
“If you truly want to be remarkable you must first learn how to be yourself; this means living authentically with a deep sense of who you are and what you have to offer.”
I asked a dear friend who recently found what sets his soul on fire for one piece of advice on finding just that. First, to tell you a little of him. I met Fabiano Mannino one day at Ohana Coffee Kava Tea and the “brother” connection was instant; it felt like I’ve known him my entire life. Fabiano found the thing that sets his soul on fire and started a movement; that movement is the “Conscious Men of St. Pete, FL (I’d add “and beyond” to that name!).”
In regards to finding what sets your soul on fire, Fabiano shares:
“This is the age-old question that seems to have everyone feeling some kind of way (needing validation or not feeling good enough). Growing up, you were probably told what career you need to go to school for instead of exploring what your Soul wants. Conditioning by society, by your parents, your grandparents, your teachers, whoever…instead of listening to what your Soul desires.
I had to experience Life to figure out my purpose. I had to stop living my life by everyone else’s ideas of what I should do and start living my life by listening to my true self. This was only possible when I stopped looking externally for love and validation and started self-introspection. I started to learn and understand how to love myself. I started to experience things that I enjoyed doing instead of always trying to please everyone else.
This is how I found my passion and purpose; Conscious Masculinity. I started living and speaking my truth. No longer hiding from who I was because I knew the people who are supposed to be in my life will love and accept me for who I am, not who I was pretending to be.
Live your life true to yourself. Learn your own Love Languages. Love yourself by them. Take yourself out on dates. Spend time with individuals who love you for you. This is how you find your passion, your purpose. This is how you find what sets your soul on fire.”
Beautifully spoken by Fabiano and it hits home. Earlier in this article, we were discussing authenticity being a part of finding your passion. To be authentic to yourself and presenting your authentic self to the world. It’s liberating and helps one discover their passion.
You may find Fabiano on Instagram.
When I first moved to Florida back in 2013, I met a coworker in which the friendship came natural. Pang Thao is an incredibly driven individual who actively pursues her dreams. When I say “actively pursues her dreams” I mean she’s really going after them. We all have dreams, ambitions that we strive for. Often, those dreams fall to the side of the road and we don’t make progress towards them. Pang works towards her dreams through many methods and I asked her to share one piece of advice on how to fearlessly pursue our dreams.
“Dreams are the glimmers of hope in the hearts of the restless. My one snippet of advice to those pursuing those glimmers: take more risks. Comfort allows you to coast. Laziness gets you nowhere. Take a chance on yourself, on your decisions, on your actions and step out of your comfort zone to reach heights higher than you’ve ever been before. Don’t fear the unknown for what was meant to be never was because you played it safe. Whether your dreams are big or small, risk success because why not?”
You can find Pang on Facebook here.
Pang says to take a chance on yourself. Authenticity can truly play a role here as well. When you truly know yourself, your authentic self and you don’t mind what others think of you, you will feel less resistance when going for your dreams. Authenticity affords you the extra brain power and motivation in pursuing your dreams by not having to worry about conforming to fit the molds you think others would like you in best. Also, if you wouldn’t take a chance on yourself, who do you think would?
Pang brings up comfort, which I love! Many of us get caught up in the day to day actions that are our comfort zone. We do that which we’re used to doing. We operate within our careers in a way that feels comfortable because when we operate differently, it’s uncomfortable. You may be thinking, that’s obvious, where are you going with this? That resistance you feel when leaving your comfort zone is where the greatness is! Our natural tendency is to stay within our comfort zone and to pull back when we start to get out of it. Keep moving forward when you hit that resistance, even if it’s a trudge. You’re not going to realize your dreams otherwise.
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
What if I fall? Most paths towards achieving one’s dreams aren’t flawless. You’ll have setbacks, distractions, difficulties and challenges. Be persistent and fearless in the pursuit of achieving your dreams. We all have bad days in which we fall short; don’t hold on to them, learn from them. There is strength in getting up from a fall. There’s a quote from “Batman Begins” that I tell my kids every time they fall and that is “why do we fall? So, we may learn to pick ourselves back up.”
Let’s take a step back and think of this in an almost effortless manner. If your having trouble finding that which sets your soul on fire, let’s try some reflection. Be honest with yourself here, authentic. What do you enjoy that makes you happy? If you’re having trouble thinking of something that makes you happy, narrow the field by thinking of things you don’t enjoy and eliminating them from the mix. If you’re still drawing blanks, try to gain new experiences by doing things you haven’t done before; this has the added benefit of getting you out of your comfort zone!
It may take some work towards accepting your authentic self, but you can do this! You can discover what sets your soul on fire and work towards your dreams.
I’ve spoken before of my biggest fear, that I would never find my path. Now, let’s get into how I found that which sets my soul on fire.
I few years back, we had bought a new house on the condition that our house sold. We had it under contract and everything seemed like smooth sailing; boy, were we in for a shock! Hurricane Irma was forecasted to hit us directly. A day before the hurricane, we received word that the contract on our house had fallen through. P was just about two years old and KJ about a half-year-old. My mother and grandmother were visiting us and the airport closed the day before their fight home was set to depart. All of this added up.
Allow me to preface this by stating that I believe I have always had anxiety. I believe I dealt with it naturally and subconsciously. A hurricane, the sale of our house falling through, being a host, husband and father all added up to just beyond my threshold of anxiety. Fortunately, the hurricane died down a bit and didn’t directly hit us. We only lost our 40’ Oak Tree in the backyard which miraculously fell the only way it could in which it did no damage what so ever. Even so, I had my first anxiety attack the day after.
This newly felt anxiety impacted much, from my ability to be present at home to my career, I needed to find a way to manage it. I started by going to the doctor, who prescribed a temporary anti-anxiety medication (I cant recall the name of it). I tried it for two days but it made me feel disconnected and tired which I wasn’t able to accept. If medication couldn’t be my solution, what could?
I had always enjoyed the idea of meditating but never had much luck with it. Every time I tried to quiet my mind, thoughts would simply keep flowing and I would get upset with myself. I decided to give it another go. Admittedly, I did not go well at first but I didn’t know what else to do so I kept at it. I am beyond happy that I did! Meditation becomes easier with practice and the benefits are countless (we can get into the benefits of meditation in another article). One of the keys for me was to not get upset when a thought would pop up; simply acknowledge the thought and move past it.
My new found love of meditation brought on a lot of introspection and truly getting to know myself. Getting to know myself lead to my passion, dreams and what sets my soul on fire. It doesn’t have to be specific so try not to over think it. What sets my soul on fire is creating a better tomorrow for as many as I can. You may say that’s crazy, too big, impossible. I ask, why not? The more that join me, the easier a better tomorrow becomes. Big change starts with one small point and spreads from there.
Are you with me? Let’s create a better tomorrow together. Even bringing a smile to one person creates a better today/tomorrow. Join the pack and let’s bring magic back to the world!
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