I’m not sure about you, but I know that to me, the little things matter. The good morning kiss, the wave from a stranger, the lucky penny you find on the sidewalk or the way you take in the beauty of a sunset. Little things can completely flip your mood for the positive.
I want to share something from the other day that had me overflowing with joy. Schools were closed due to Hurricane Dorian. We lucked out but not everyone fared so well. There are a lot of ways to help out but the American Red Cross is a staple when donating to disasters like this: https://www.redcross.org/donate/hurricane-dorian-donations.html/
On the day that schools were closed, our boys went to the babysitter and our daughter came to the office with me. Having my kids with me always improves my mood. We had an incredible day. After we left the office, my son Kalen and I ate chips and salsa while I made chicken tacos for Taco Tuesday. My wife also sat with us feeding our youngest son Ashton. It was beautiful. After dinner we spent some time simply sitting with each other and talking. Then Peyton, Kalen and myself went outside, running around barefoot in the front yard while they tried to squirt me with their water guns. It was a beautiful day for all of us and I was incredibly happy.
Nothing big happened that day. I simply let all the joy from these little things in and had a beautiful day.
On the flip side of that, you don’t want to let negativity in from anything, even the small things. I know I am asking a lot here; take in all the positivity and joy from small things while not allowing something trivial have an negative impact on you. It’s a challenging thing to do for sure. You may be asking; how do I fully enjoy little things but not let any negativity in? We’ll get to that but first, let’s start with why.
Stress. Stress plays a big part in our lives today. There are countless (well, I’m sure someone has a count) studies done on stress and how detrimental it can be to our bodies and overall health.
When we experience stress, our cortisol levels experience a spike. Even if the stress is from something tiny and we only experience it for a moment, the cortisol levels in our bodies change. This change is small when compared to experiencing big stressors; however, these little spikes add up over time.
What is cortisol? Web MD says to “Think of cortisol as nature’s built-in alarm system. It’s your body’s main stress hormone. It works with certain parts of your brain to control your mood, motivation, and fear (https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/what-is-cortisol#1).” Cortisol in normal levels is good for us as it helps to regulate a vast range of vital processes throughout our body such as our metabolism and immune systems.
What happens if our body’s built-in alarm is always on (how annoying would our bedside alarm always being on be?)?
- Rapid weight gain.
- Flushed skin.
- High Blood Pressure.
- Skin changes (easy bruising and stretch marks).
- Muscle Weakness.
- Mood swings
- Anxiety, depression or irritability.
- Increased thirst and frequency of urination.
If none of that rings true to you, high cortisol levels over a prolonged time have been shown to cause a lack of sex drive. You read that right, a lack of sex drive! Don’t stress over small things and keep those cortisol levels in normal range, please!
Also, a study from Oregon State University found that stressing over little things, the everyday annoyances have shown a trend leading to shorter lives. “ Older men who lead high-stress lives, either from chronic everyday hassles or because of a series of significant life events, are likely to die earlier than the average for their peers.” “We’re looking at long-term patterns of stress – if your stress level is chronically high, it could impact your mortality, or if you have a series of stressful life events, that could affect your mortality,” said Carolyn Aldwin, director of the Center for Healthy Aging Research in the College of Public Health and Human Sciences at OSU.” You may find the study here: https://bit.ly/2lHKlK5
Now for the how. What has had the biggest benefit to me has been the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness isn’t simply a new age fad; it has been practiced for Millenia and may even be as old as humanity itself (meditation). Mindfulness is being aware and fully attending to the present, what you’re doing and the space you’re moving through at that moment. If you haven’t practiced Mindfulness, it truly is amazing to be fully present in the moment and not stressing over the future.
Meditation can be challenging. I have a very active mind and when I first started to practice mediation, I couldn’t clear it. I would try and all of a sudden, my mind would take flight and I would be down a rabbit hole of thought before I even realized it. The important thing to remember is, that’s ok. You may not think you can meditate but through my own experience, I promise you that you can. It takes time and it takes practice, but you can achieve it.
Start small, practice mediation for 5 or 10 minutes. Get comfortable, slow and steady your breathing. Close your eyes and clear your mind. When you find yourself down a path of thought, simply acknowledge the thought and clear your mind. I have a morning routine in which I sit on the bathroom floor before my shower. I open up the “Calm” app and let the rain ambiance play, I close my eyes and I meditate before I take my morning shower. It starts my morning off on the right foot and with good intentions.
Have you ever written something down and feel the connection between your brain (thoughts an emotions) and what you wrote out? It’s incredibly powerful to write out your intentions, goals and aspirations. It’s also powerful to write out your negative thoughts, the spilled coffee that has you upset and then crumple that piece of paper into a ball and throw it out. The connection you made by writing it out allows you to physically throw away the negativity.
Another way to help you not make mountains out of molehills is to give yourself a time limit. What I mean by this is when you feel you truly need to obsess over a small annoyance, irritant and negative idea, give yourself a time limit. Setting a time limit of say, 10 minutes, prior to thinking about something negative is empowering and gives you an easy out. Once you meet the 10-minute mark, it can be much easier to say to yourself “alright, I gave myself ten minutes to obsess over the coffee I spilt on my freshly pressed shirt. Now I’m done and am going to enjoy the beauty in today.”
I know that it’s easier said than done. You can do it! With patience, mindfulness and practice it will become like second nature to you. The benefits are incredible. Take in the joy and happiness while throwing out the stress and negativity.
How do you deal with things we view as small? Are you present in the moment? Do you let in the joy and happiness from that beautiful sunset? Do you block and throw out negativity? Let’s get a good dialogue going here!
Photo Cred: Fabiano Mannino
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